


Saint Bernard

by NothingIWontGive



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Draco Malfoy Needs a Hug, F/M, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Sad, Sad Ending, Songfic, Timeskips, ships are all just briefly mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 19:02:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17903762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NothingIWontGive/pseuds/NothingIWontGive
Summary: Honestly just a sad Draco ficAlso, knowing me, this fic is long. I usually only post fics that only have a word count in the hundreds.





	Saint Bernard

**_Hung pictures of patron saints up on my wall_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_Walking down the hallway, one could see many faces decorating the wall. Most of which smiling, however, there were quite a few frowning giving looks of disapproval. But that was Malfoy Manor for you, the smiling faces only came from the ones who had married into the family. Mostly women, the Malfoy family more often than not had first-born males. They hadn't had a first-born female in hundreds of years, maybe even thousands. The smiling faces had always made Draco much more comfortable. They would always be the ones who would wave at the small boy. They would break the serious expressions they would hold normally. If they were normal paintings and not from a magical family. The men would usually look down at him as if he was a disappointment. But Draco had never done anything wrong, not yet at least. He was a perfect little heir for the Malfoy family, he knew how to speak French and Latin. He always followed the rules, he never complained. He stood tall no matter what his father did. God did his back hurt, he wished he could slump down and let his stone cold face break. A seven-year-old should not have to feel this way._  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
**_To remind me that I am a fool_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_When he read of Harry Potter, the boy who lived. The boy who survived Lord Voldemort. Draco wanted to become friends with him. Sure the news article he read about the boy in was old. But that didn't matter, he was sure the boy was still alive. Draco wasn't sure where the other lived at the moment, but there were only a few more years before Draco and the boy could meet at Hogwarts. Draco was sure he could convince the boy to become his friend. He hoped they could become so close that Draco could break his facade. Draco hoped he could smile, talk about stupid things. Not that he couldn't do that with his mother, he just wished he had friends his age. The boy who lived would be the perfect candidate unless the other was a total git. However, Draco was sure the other would be different than the kids of his fathers.... friends. Not that the kids were bad people, he just had to be his professional self. He had to resemble the portraits on the walls, god did he hate them now. He and his parents had one over their fireplace, none of them smiled. Though Draco could see the darkness behind his own eyes, he could see the love in his mother's eyes. His fathers held nothing but disgust. His father didn't move, he and his mother did. Draco's own face moved to look at his mother, as she kissed his forehead. His father just kept staring forwards, almost as if he was a muggle portrait. Draco wanted to burn down that painting, maybe then his father would break his stillness._  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
**_Tell me where I came from, what I will always be:_ **  
**_Just a spoiled little kid who went to Catholic school_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_When Draco turned eleven he was admitted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was only a few months later that he was in Diagon Alley, the was whispers from the parents around him. He didn't listen to them, it was probably about something unimportant. Maybe about actually seeing Draco for the first time since he was born. But that's probably not the case. Draco blended into the snow that was falling in the middle of September. Draco was usually unnoticed when it came to going into public spaces. Not that Draco was especially short, he was fairly tall for his age. His hair was cut the previous day, and he wasn't sure why he and his father were in Diagon Alley. Draco already had everything that he needed for school, even his wand. His father had taken him to get it on his birthday. So he was more confused by them entering Ollivander's, but he guessed his father wanted him to get a better wand. Since he only had a training wand now, but Draco wasn't supposed to be gifted with it until he had stayed a year at Hogwarts. Though he was supposed to have it when he was on the way to the school, per the rules. But his father had never cared for rules. He thought they were overrated. Lucius Malfoy never did and never would care about the rules. When the Malfoys entered the shop, Draco went up to the counter as his father went upstairs to visit with one of his... friends. When Draco got to the counter he smiled at the man behind it, asking if he could get his reserved wand. The man nodded and grabbed it from the back. Draco had already gotten the wand, his eleventh birthday remember? Once he had gotten his wand, he walked up the stairs to join his father. Once the older Malfoy had finished his conversation, there was a fragile kid with a mop of black hair walking into the store. The kid's clothes were hanging off his body, he was practically swimming in the cloth. The thin-framed glassed that settled on his nose were far too large for the boy. Draco felt bad for him, the boy would look much better if he had smaller clothes and ones that didn't look like hand me downs. The smaller boy would actually look adorable if he gained a little bit more weight. He looked to be in Draco's year. Draco hoped the boy would gain some weight while he was at Hogwarts. He kinda wanted to be his friend, just to make sure the boy didn't look starved. Though Draco didn't look much better, punishments from his father. But at least Draco looked as if he had had a meal in the past month. The other boy looked as if he had never had a full meal in his life._  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
**_When I am dead, I won’t join their ranks_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_When Draco had gotten his dark mark he could feel the happiness, he could have recovered, fly away. Almost as if someone had cast Avada Kedavra on the emotion. Draco had never felt so lonely, never felt so unloved. He should have told someone about having to get it. Someone who wasn't a Slytherin. Like McGonagall, or really anyone. He should have told someone, at least then he would know someone would know he didn't want it. Lord Voldemort didn't have consent from Draco himself. The Lord had permission from his father, who had been loyal to the Dark Lord most of his life. Though the Malfoy was older than the man that was once Tom Riddle. When Draco got back to his dorm room, he sat on his bed and stared blankly at his mark. He sat there until he fell asleep, having a nightmare. Draco wasn't loyal to the Dark Lord, but if he disobeyed now he would die. If he did anything wrong he would die. Draco didn't want to die, at least not by the hands of the Dark Lord. Not by a man who never experienced any feelings other than hate. He would rather die by the hands of Harry Potter, the boy who hates him more than he hates himself. He would rather die from a kid younger than him then a fucking egg._  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
**_Because they are both holy and free_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_When seventh year began, Draco had no emotions. There was only a hint of fear in what he did, he was made into a puppet. He was like clay, easily moldable. He never smiled nowadays, only a serious face, much like his portrait. The only reason why he wasn't completely broken was because of his rival. Harry Potter was constantly making Draco want to interact with others, even if that meant sneering and making fun of the other. He was still a puppet but he was making his way to cutting the strings the Dark Lord, the only problem being that the strings were made of thick rope, and his dull pear knife wasn't cutting it. The rope was slowly breaking, and it's all because of the boy who lived. Draco had never wanted to be his friend more. But this time it wasn't because he was the boy who lived, it was because the boy brightened up his life. Mostly through sarcasm and soft remarks. Hell, if Harry asked to be his friend, he would make up with the Weasel and his girlfriend._  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
**_And I'm in Ohio, satanic and chained up_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_Once the war was over, his strings were cut. The rope was hanging off his limbs and neck limply. Draco was free, but he still had the dark mark. The tattoo reminded him of his mistakes, and when he was invited back for an eighth year he almost refused. But he thought that at least this way he could finish off his education. He knew that only Pansy and Blaise were coming back, which would make three Slytherins in the eighth year. Some of the other years of Slytherins didn't come back as well, they were ashamed. And there weren't many first years as well, no one wanted to be part of the house of the past Lord Voldemort. Though they still never said his name, which was utter ridiculousness. Not that Slytherin was terribly lacking, there was still plenty of them. There was just fewer than usual._  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
**_And until the end, that’s how it’ll be_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_All of eighth-year Draco was quiet. He spoke very few words, everyone could see that the Slytherin was broken. However, none of the other houses cared, Slytherin was more lonely than ever. They only talked to each other, none of the houses talked to them. Unless it was needed, of course. And it was only required during class, or if they needed something. Both of which they were ignored in any way. Draco hadn't spoken a full sentence the entire year. His eyes no longer held the little bit of light he had before, they were only a dull grey. The colour had faded, they were not quicksilver any longer. His skin had gotten even paler, making him look sickly. The only part of him that was dark was his undereye bags, which contrasted greatly with his skin. It was obvious that he hadn't slept in a while, probably nightmares. He was rarely found in the Great Hall, making his frame even thinner than before. He usually hid the dark mark, not that he flaunted it before. He hid it more than he did before, the flesh where the mark is being greatly mangled. He was jumpy, fear in his eyes all the time. Overall, Draco Tiberius Malfoy was not the same as he was before._  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
**_I said make me love myself, so that I might love you_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_A few years after the eighth years had graduated, Draco had been engaged ten times, each and every one of them breaking it off soon after. Always giving a bullshit excuse, "It's not the right time" or "I just can't get married this young" maybe even "Draco, I love you more than anyone I have ever met, but you never give me the same love back. I can't pretend to be happy with you anymore." Draco had cared less and less each time he was engaged. When they broke it off he just sighed and nodded, holding out his hand for the ring he had given them. Most of them only got engaged to him because he was still very wealthy, then left when they remembered his dark mark. When they remembered he wasn't a good guy. None of them were going to stay for long, they were all greedy and didn't care no matter what. They never would, so Draco began to ignore the requests to marry._  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
**_Don’t make me a liar, because I swear to God_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_On Draco's Twenty-Second birthday he met Harry Potter in a small coffee shop. Draco was there with his longest boyfriend, Cantis Capra. Honestly, an unpleasant man to be around. Usually smelt of goat, true to his name. Despite him have never seeing a goat in his pitiful life. Honestly, Cantis was a complete tosser, he never really looked at Draco with love. Cantis broke up with Draco in that cafe, and Harry James Potter had seen the entire exchange. Harry's own date looking as shocked as Harry. Ginny looked really confused about what had happened, so when Cantis had left she had gotten up. She walked over to Draco, sitting in the seat in front of him. She asked what had happened. She comforted the man who was now alone. Ginny's engagement ring sparkling as she rubbed the back of Draco's hand. Seeing the glimmer of the band made Draco break down even more. All of the people around him were happy. Draco never got anything happy. He really though Cantis was different than the others. Maybe Draco should just stop trying to be happy. It never worked anyways, they always ended the relationship. After a few minutes, Harry had joined Draco and Ginny. He sat closer to Draco, stroking his back, engagement ring missing. Draco wondered what that was about._  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
**_When I said it, I thought it was true_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_Draco was laying his bed all alone. The other man that was in his room had already left. After Draco told him he felt feelings of love towards the other. Then the boy got a call, so he had to leave. He did, work was usually more important than Draco. They had been doing this... thing for nine months now. Draco was usually left in the bed alone, wondering how he got to this point in life. Draco really did love the other, but the other never showed that the feeling could be reciprocated. Harry Potter had ruined Draco, he loved Harry with all his heart. Harry seemed to use that to his pleasure. Harry had taken him to shag three months after Draco's birthday. Draco fell hard for Harry after that night. He always blushed the next time he saw the chosen one. Draco was a hopeless fool, really._  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
**_Saint Calvin told me not to worry about you_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_Harry was in the hospital, you could read it in really any newspaper. But you could read in the same newspaper about how 'Draco Malfoy, Ex-Death Eater' visits 'Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived' Draco was sick of seeing the newspaper broadcast his mistakes. Honestly, they really needed to get over that, Draco had been dating Harry for three years now. But the newspapers still did articles on if you would be compatible with the boy who lived. Still overlooked that Harry was in a happy relationship and that it wasn't the public's business. They didn't need to know if Harry was great in bed, or if his penis was huge. They didn't even really need to know if he was in a relationship or not. It wasn't their business, it never was and never will be. Harry was not a single man, and he sure as hell wasn't going to cheat on his boyfriend because you're a horny bitch. Harry was much more faithful in this relationship than he was in other ones. Harry was fine if you flirted with him, but he didn't need to keep telling people that he was already in love. But the fangirls, and boys, seemed to forget that. His ass had been touched an unholy amount of times. Draco hated when he saw that happen, but he couldn't do anything about it. Especially because the news would say that he was up to his old ways. Draco worked in a muggle coffee shop for fuck's sake. Draco rarely used his wand, he followed the rules. But right now Draco didn't care, he was sitting next to his boyfriend. Harry was passed out, having been hurt on the job. Draco hated the other being an Auror, the other was constantly in danger. Harry usually got out of the situations easily, but he had been exhausted. He overworked himself, then had to be stupid. Thank god Ron was there to save Harry, and Draco could never thank the redhead enough._  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
**_But he’s got his own things to deal with_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_Harry had proposed to Draco. Had Draco accepted? Yes, but he was still weary, Harry had been with him for much longer than anyone else had. Still Draco was afraid the other would come to break up with him at the last moment. Their engagement was the headline for a week straight. They discussed if the public even knew if Harry was in a relationship, they really should have known they had been dating for six years. The papers acted as if Harry hadn't been seen kissing Draco multiple times in public. And when they spotted him buying a ring they speculated, they even thought it could have been for Ginny who was happily married to someone else. The public thought that the ring could have been for Hermione, who was the farthest from being in a relationship with Harry. She had been married to Ron for multiple years, and they just had a kid for Satan's sake. Hermione was Harry's personal healer, and Ron was a great stay at home dad. But still, the news thought let's ignore everyone's happy marriages and believe Harry Potter is straight. Though he had come out years beforehand, honestly they were all stupid._  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
**_There’s really just one thing that we have in common:_ **  
**_Neither of us will be missed_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_Draco stared at his dark mark often, he wondered if he would be missed by anyone other than his husband and mother. Everyone still said he was a death eater. They ignored that he lived in the muggle world, and rebuilt his family name to take in anyone who was being thrown out of their homes for being themselves. He took in donations to help hire some of said people to work at the mansion, work for the Foundation. Draco was much better than his father ever could be. The paintings were still in the halls of the Malfoy Mansion, and there were other decorations in the Muggle estate. Both Harry and Draco still owned their estates, they moved the homes to be closer, to expand the space they could take people in for. They housed the maids, the house elves still worked for them. Honestly, Draco had done something no one else ever did._  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
**_Saint Bernard sits at the top of the driveway_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_Draco had loved Harry James Potter with all his heart, Harry was kind to him. Sure the two still fought, but they always made up, talked out the problem. Though Draco sometimes took a few days to accept the other's apology. Harry understood the need for his husband to take a few minutes, even days to think things over. Draco wasn't trusting, he never could be, he was taught to stay silent in moments of disagreement. Harry hated when his husband would put on the calm face he was taught to display. Though, as stated before, Harry understood. Harry had great friends who taught him not to cower in front of anger. Draco did not, not saying his friends were horrible people. Harry just wished he could help the other out of his old ways. But one cannot teach an old dog new tricks, as they say._  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
**_You always said how you loved dogs_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_Harry was watching Dracos chest fall, watching the way the lips of the other would form a smile every so often. Harry found that he would grin as the other did. Harry looked away, staring at the moon, watching the trees sway with the wind. Harry felt so peaceful at that moment, he knew he didn't deserve this. Sure, he killed a dark wizard and nameless other wannabes, but did he truly deserve the love he had found? If you asked the public or even Draco, the answer was yes. However, Harry didn't think so. He hadn't done anything particularly spectacular in his life since his time at Hogwarts._  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
**_I don’t know if I count, but I'm trying my best_ **  
**_When I'm howling and barking these songs_ **  
**_~~~~~~~~_ **  
_When Draco woke up in the morning, he felt worse than ever. He had never dreamt of something so stupid. Why would Harry Potter ever like him back._ _What a preposterous idea, Harry despised him with all his being. And Draco was married to a woman who gave him an heir. That's all, Draco was still a nothing to anyone in his life. As he walked the halls of the estate he looked at the new painting above the fireplace. He looked at how his wife and child moved. He watched as his own frame stood still, sadness in his eyes. Draco was ashamed at how he had become his father. He never wanted to become the man he grew to despise. However, Draco was glad his son had successfully made friends with a Potter of his own, a feat Draco was never able to achieve. God did Draco wish he could go back to his dream. He would do anything to be that happy again. He wished he could wake up to tan skin and emerald eyes, to see the light freckles across the other's nose. Observe the small dents on the sides of Harry's nose. To be able to have his hands in the mop of black hair. Watch as his wedding band glistened as he placed his hand on the others cheek. But he wasn't able to, his wife didn't enjoy wearing the wedding band he had given her. Though she really was a wonderful woman, she was absolutely perfect. She made Draco into a better man. Astoria was better than Draco ever could be. She made sure Draco didn't fully ever turn into his father, though it happened at times, reverting back to his old habits. Though it never happened for long, only for a few seconds. But it was a long enough time period for Draco to hate himself for it. Sometimes Draco forgot that she died, in the Summer of 2019, Draco was once more hallow when she died. He truly couldn't be happy for a long time._


End file.
